Eager vs. Lazy Lifestyle
If you’e one of my millions of loyal readers (:D), you might be starting to think that this blog doesn’t have a topic. You’re partly right, after all, I did name it Tony thinks to keep my freedom of subject. But right now I’m going to tie in my first three posts, like a masterful drama with characters and events that seem unrelated, but come together in the end (Snatch and Slum Dog Millionaire come to mind). Don’t believe me? Read on!
I think successful people more often than not come up with metaphors for life to keep them going. My favorite example are my entrepreneur friends Yu-kai and Jun from FD Career. They say that corporate gets you donkeys; Entrepreneurship gets you the princess, haha. Yu-kai talks about what he calls his “Diablo epiphany” in high school. It happened at a time when he was had worked hard to achieve high skill and status in Diablo, but the game’s popularity was waning. He felt empty inside because all his hard work was for not, and now he would have to find a new game to start from square one. What’s a really great game, he thought, that you can get really high status, and people can’t just get tired of and quit? The answer is obvious — life! Overnight, he was transformed from a hardcore gamer with little to show in real life for his efforts, into an ambitious entrepreneur who lived life like a hardcore gamer. Since then he has started multiple companies, some of which are still around and successful, has an impressive roll-a-dex with thousands of friends and important connections, his blog gets nearly 2 thousand unique viewers a month with steady growth, and he is a powerful leader who people want to follow. I would say he’s made significant progress towards success on a grand scale. Not bad for an afternoon of thinking, huh?!
They say personal change is difficult and can take years. I say fooee. Change is easy and can seconds! All it takes is a change in your attitude and perspect towards those essential things that determine how you live your life. If you have trouble getting to class on time, or at all sometimes (this never happens to me 
, it’s simply because you don’t think being to class on time is important enough. If you did, unless you have some serious mental deficiency that prevents you from being able to read clocks, you wouldn’t have any problem. This applies to everything in life. Change your values, change your life.
The opposite extreme is a bum street musician I met named Ronald. In downtown Lawrence (where I live), it’s not uncommon to see homeless people begging for money. It’s not a big problem, but it’s there. On a especially beautiful, sunny day a few weeks ago, I was walking to Jimmy John’s when I heard him playing guitar and singing from across the street. I had nowhere to be for a few hours since I had just flaked on lunch with Jennifer (not getting into that, haha), so I thought why not get two sandwiches and find out his story. It turned out he was an alcohol and drug free guy who’s predicament was simply due to a lifestyle choice. Most importantly he was perfectly content — significantly more than the average home-full person I know. He was a wise man, and I think there’s much to learn from his example.
(Note: I originally wrote went into much more detail about my encounter with him, because it’s was so unique and enlightening, but this post got way too long so I split it off into it’s own post below. If you’re interested, don’t hesitate to read that now. Just don’t forget to come back and finish this one!
Ronald will never be a millionaire. Not because of bad luck or alcoholism, but the simple fact that he doesn’t want to be. On the other hand, I think there is a very good chance that Yu-kai, Jun, and especially my friend Michael (I’ll talk more about him later, haha) will be very wealthy for the simple fact that they are driven to the bone and no setback, no matter how great will prevent them from dusting themselves off, and then drilling full speed ahead. As Winston Churchill once said, success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.
So to finally keep my promise, here’s my version of the “Diablo epiphany.” Since, I’ve never been a gamer, I’ll put it in programming terms, but it should still be very understandably by anyone. In concurrency programming, unlike procedural (“normal”) programming, your program is built up of “agents” which send messages to one another and carry out the different parts of your program. As the name suggests they all act at the same time (at least conceptually). The reason it’s interesting, is that it’s a much better model of reality than line by line, grocery list instructions. Now in this world, there are two types of agents — lazy and eager. I think the same could be said about people . The difference is lazy agents will wait for a message containing the data they need to be passed to them before the act like “Here, file these TPS reports ASAP.” Eager agents on the other hand, are constantly requesting the data when they have nothing to do like a telemarketer that calls during dinner to ask if you’re happy with your phone service, or for a less annoying example like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, both of whom dropped out of college to do bigger and better things. They didn’t wait for the “here’s your diploma, you may now begin living” message, haha.
People can also be grouped into one of these two categories, although unlike with agents it’s much more of a continuum. It’s also important to note that, to create a reasonably complex, efficient system, you need both eager and lazy agents, but if all of them were lazy nothing would ever get done, and if all of them were eager, you would waste CPU and memory sending “are we there yet?” messages for no reason, slowing down the system. A good system requires both, and most likely agents who are eager some of the time and lazy at others depending on the circumstances.
Now in life, someone won’t always knock on your door to offer you a better job or give you a promotion spontaneously. They do sometimes, but it’s the exception. What consequences can be drawn from this if your goal is wealth and prosperity? What conclusions can be drawn if your mission is happiness through a simple life? My point in writing this isn’t to tell you how to live your life (though I’ve been accused of that once or twice 
), but to give you some insights that help you to achieve your goals, whatever they may be.
So, there you go. I managed to relate concurrency programming, to cultural perspectives on time, and the effect of attitude on one’s life. Now, don’t ever doubt I have a master plan again! Haha. Thank you for putting up with my tangents and musings, dear readers, I love you all. Please tell me your thoughts. I live for comments. Would your characterize your attitude in life as more eager or lazy? Do you think this is optimal for reaching your goals? Who are some glistening examples of either that we can learn from? (Do you think my posts are too long?)
I hope you’re eager for my next post. I’ll try not to be too lazy in writing it!
wow. It seems to me that Bill Gates was very eager when he wrote windows and so.. its always so.. funny I never thought of it that way.
Yea I dont feel like waiting for my “get out of college, please” message either.
Well the question is if you leave college, will you do bigger and better things? Or will you be like Ronald the street musician (too bad you can’t play guitar, haha)? The only bad choice you can make is to not decide, but to go with the flow and do what you’re “supposed” to do. That’s a one-way to ticket to Prozac-city with extra Cymbalta and probably Viagra on the side.
My roommate Colin quit school to go to Washington, although he still hasn’t left… I’m not sure which route he’s decided on yet, haha.
great post! i think you’ve forgotten about a very important set of eager individuals. like entrepreneurs, social activists, don’t just take what is given to them, but question the way things work in society and work tirelessly to produce change they believe needs to happen. think about Dr. Martin Luther King, Ghandi, Abraham Lincoln. they were never rich, but their accomplishments have shaped the world we live in and will never be forgotten. a couple of people who are currently alive who have really inspired me are Paul Farmer and Greg Mortenson. i think you’ll find the books about what they are doing (“Mountains beyond Mountains” and “Three Cups of Tea,” respectively) fascinating. though i’ve been fairly lazy in my actions so far, my attitude has become increasingly eager as i’ve learned more about the world, and i can’t see myself being satisfied not working to make a difference.
i also absolutely love that my surly, i-don’t-care-about-anything little brother has grown up to become so open to diverse views and so insightful about the world.
Thank you Galia, I really appreciate the compliment
. I’m also glad that you’ve dedicated your life to making a positive difference. I think we’re very similar in that way. The biggest difference is, you have no desire for wealth, because you see it as selfish, whereas I think wealth affords one the power and freedom to do great things. It’s kind of hard to help get clean water for Africa when you’re struggling to pay your own rent, wouldn’t you say?! I think wealth puts you in a much better position to do good.
However, you make a good point about social activists who were able to reach a high level of influence and a achieve great things through their chrisma and leadership, without being wealthy.
Like I said, I think the only mistake you can make is not to have a plan. Even if you don’t end up following it in the end, it will drive you to push yourself to be greater on daily basis, and you will achieve more in the end. I’m very glad to hear that you seem to have at least a vague notion of what you want to achieve in life, which is more than many people can say. What’s your “Diablo epiphany?”
Hey Tony! Great post! I actually think its great that people live the life they want to when they are on the streets. I actually don’t think Ronald is bum, because he actually plays music for his living. So what if he doesn’t own a home? He’s still an entertainer and that makes him no different than Yo-yo Ma, Brad Pitt or Michael Jordan (sports is actually a entertainment business). I would only call the homeless folks who don’t want anything but sympathy bums. Some of them are polite bums, and I like them. Some of them are rude like you owe them, and that’s probably just because they hate their life.
Back to my original topic. What I try to do is not to make everyone eager and motivated. I try to allow people to identify their true goals and passion in life and help them accomplish it. If a person wants to become rich so he works hard and becomes rich, that’s great. If a person just wants an average life, and then lives an average life, that’s cool too. I have a problem with those who want to be rich, but never take the action to get there. Its the disconnection between action and consequences that I’m trying to change. I know people who weep when they look at others being extremely successful, and then the next day they just watch TV and eat ice-cream. Clearly unproductive.
Anyway, good post, and I look forward to more!
@Yukai — Hey, I really appreciate the thoughtful response. That’s a very good point, that he is in fact in the same boat as many celebrates our culture worships so dearly. It’s ironic that most people should take a harsh view on such an honest and kind man, while we idolize nut-jobs like Brittany Spears, Haha.
I completely agree when it comes to empowering people to reach their goals. As I said before, the only mistake you can make is to think you’re powerless to change your circumstances. Unfortunately, many people seem to be on that auto-pilot track, living episode to episode. It makes me truly sad when I overhear people say things like “Monday is my best day of the week, because so-and-so show is on.” Shouldn’t there be more to life? I think one of the dangers of our culture’s entertainment overload is that it allows people to forget or never learn how to entertain themselves. Something past generations were expert at. That’s another great thing about social media as opposed to mass media, is that it’s interactive, reengaging people’s minds to think and create. But this is a whole nother topic for another day.
Thanks again for the support, and I will look forward to monitoring your progress as you FD-tize the globe for the benefit of all mankind!
Tony-
Eager vs. lazy. These terms are pretty black and white. Perhaps, some individuals fit somewhere in the middle. Finding your passion and purpose in life can be challenging. Sometimes people wait many years to have a “Diablo epitome” Others say they were still a child when they knew where their place was in society.
I decided to research different lists of “the most influential” people in American society. This was my favorite.
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200612/influentials
The range is remarkable. There are politicians, parenting experts, children entertainers, authors, inventors….and the list goes on. I believe all of these people share a common thread, passion and yes, eagerness. Contrarily, people like Ronald may not have the status and monetary success, but I believe he shows eagerness for life. If people believe they are making a difference in their life or others, then we are doing pretty well as a society. I love all the diversity and passion that exists! I sense this passion and eagerness in you.
Also, I do not think your posts are too long. The longer the better I say! I cannot wait to read more, Tony!
I like how you tie your last three posts together.
To be honest, write as much as you want because I believe everyone should express themselves however they want. If you do want to maximize readership, try to keep your posts around 600 words. I know Yu-kai usually goes way over this; that’s why no one reads it
Even though you make a good argument, a change of mindset or mentality is extremely difficult for most people. It is easy to say something, but it is difficult to actually do it. For example, the person who wants to lose weight can easily say, “My new years resolution is to go to the gym on a regular basis.” He’ll start off strong, but after a month he’ll miss a week, then two weeks, and then just gives up.
It IS a mental game, but one that few people are equipped to handle by themselves. That’s why people turn to counseling or psychologists.
You and Yu-kai are able to make instant changes in mindset because that’s your personality. You guys are just capable of doing it. Not everyone is able to do just things.
Great post
- Jun
@Jun – You’re right, permanent change is difficult to achieve, and takes a lot of will power. I would argue though, that the reason your hypothetical person stopped working out after a few months is because they have reverted back to their old value system. That’s why I think metaphors for life like your game on easy vs. hard are crucial to maintaining your resolve through tough times.
I’m so excited to network my ass off at the Web 2.0 conference!
Haha, I always tell my female friends who hopes that their boyfriends will change later on, “A guy will only change for three reasons. One, he suddenly picked up huge responsibility. Two, he experienced some kind of great loss that shatters his reality. Three, he is pursuing a girl, in which at this stage is too late because you are already with him.” Motivation is a hard thing. It takes good attitude to change your attitude, and its a chicken and egg thing.
And hey Jun! People DO read my blog and even forward it on Twitter
I just always have too much to say
Great post! I like your writing style for sure.
I love that you related philosophy to programing. I feel like too many people don’t bother to think creatively about things that aren’t inherently creative.
I would say that I am more of an eager agent than a lazy agent. I tried being a lazy agent for awhile, but I’m just too ambitious and ADD to be happy that way. Sometimes I’m a bit jealous of people like your street musician friend. I wish that were enough for me.
I don’t know if I agree with you on the change thing. Change does take a long time, but the decision to change and the turning point can be quick. With your tardiness example… once you make the decision to start being on time it will be a long time before it comes easily and naturally to you. Until that happens, you will likely slip up and be late every once and awhile. So in your head the change was quick, but in practice and reality it took awhile. This is probably less true with smaller things like tardiness, but more true with things like “I’m not going to let fear stop me anymore” (my current goal) or “I’m going to get better grades”. There’s a turning point that only took a few seconds, but it takes awhile to prove to yourself (and the rest of the world) that the change is real.
@Christie – You’re right, and that is really what I mean. I personally have managed a pretty drastic transformation from my high school self that pretty much anyone that knew me would be able to see plainly, so I know it takes much time and effort. What did it though, was the change in values and attitude, and the constant reaffirming of those perspectives on a daily basis when I would “relapse.”
Thanks for the support and feedback. I do think programming is an inherently creative pursuit though
. Just more about getting shit done than expressing yourself artistically (although, there is still that element).
So, what goals are you eagerly working to achieve? I read your post about “Born on a Blue Day.” I also dig your insightful style. Seems like we both had similar social struggles growing up. I can definitely relate to studying people’s interactions as if they’re a lab rat to figure out the secret to social success, and by God I think I’ve found it! Haha. I’m sure I’ll be blogging about it more.
It’s good to hear from you. I hope your eagerness is well-directed, and you achieve great things!
Tony, I enjoyed reading your post and all the conversations that followed. You are a good community that stimulates everyone to be more successful in life and achieve things that matter for him. I agree with Jennifer that most people fall in-between lazy and eager (or at least we want to think that way). It is hard to be eager if you have not found your passion and established your value system (it took a way too long for me). So, sometimes it pays off to be patient and dig within yourself to find the real you.
I agree that change is a hard, because we are on auto-pilot most of the time. I like Anthony Robbins’s perspective on the subject. The primary objective of human mind is to avoid pain. So, our habits are nothing more that things that protect us from being hurt. If we touch a hot surface and get burned badly, our mind will automatically make a habit not to touch the hot surface again. It is instantaneous, and does not take any effort on our part. Our feelings drive the habits we create. So, In order to make a change we need to associate massive pain with not making that change by collecting evidences supporting that. The pain does not need to be physical, most of the pain we feel is imaginary. For example the pain of rejection is as real as the pain from a hot surface.
Anyway, I applaud all of you for the important changes you have made in your life and the desire to get better and learn from each others.
Okay, you got me on programing being inherently creative. I guess I really should have said it’s not obviously creative.
My biggest goal right now is to stop making decisions based on fear. Coming down here was a great first step for that, but there’s a lot more I want to do. I will probably write a blog entry on this soon. More specifically (but by no means the whole story) I am going back to school part time in the summer, and I am determined to actually apply myself this time. I would probably describe what I’m going for as pretty similar to what you seem to have going… a realignment of value and perspective.
Oh, and as much as I study people to figure out social cues and actions, I still feel like I have a ways to go… so I will definitely be keeping my eye out for your blog on the subject!
I was actually trying to figure out a way to show you a link, and this was the last place I spoke to you, so here!
http://xkcd.com/521/
I think you’ll like it on multiple levels (make sure to mouse-over the image)
But of course I ended up reading both new blogs and every comment.
I’ve thought about a lot of the same things you mention in this post, and the word that comes to mind is “passion.” I think it’s our main driving force in life. What we’re passionate for propels us and motivates us to get up every morning and get through the arduous parts of our day. Some people aren’t sure what they’re passionate about and twiddle away their days, dipping their feet here and there, seeing what they like and don’t like, but never fully committing. Maybe as an outlet, they’ll commit to a video game and excel in it, just to end up feeling a hollow satisfaction for their great ambitions.
Yet who’s to blame them? I personally think it’s a greater mistake to force yourself into one pursuit you have serious doubts about, than to just hold back and observe how you experience your life so as to be certain in figuring out your own, true path. I know that’s where I’m at- just chillin’ in the midpoint between academia and the real world, not sure what I want, yet trying everything out. By the loose definitions you put up, I guess you could call me lazy; I procrastinate an awful lot and never keep up the pace in my classes. I’d rather chill with my friends and not worry about tomorrow when I get off work, or just go watch the sky. But then I pull out of my ass top-notch achievements in half a night and have a better fundamental understanding of course material than most anyone in the course, so then you could call me quite passionate (or eager).
I think it really depends on the context. Ronald seems to have his shit together, and knows what he’s passionate about (so he’s leading a content life). Others are still finding their way, yet come off as bums according to this dichotomy, even though they’re just as passionate as Ronald- they’re just missing their outlet. But maybe I’m just extracting my own thoughts from your post
Good read, either way.
You actually remind me a lot of myself when I was younger. It’s OK, not to know what direction you want to pursue in life, yet. However, the sooner you figure it out, the more time you have to be the absolute best. They say that to be an expert in anything takes 10,000 hours of practice. Mozart composed his first symphony at 6 years old. What do you have to show for your life so far as a 20 year old? How many hours have you wasted so far trying to figure out where to direct you focus? I’m not trying to make you feel bad, just understand that it’s not a matter of time. More than likely, it won’t just come to you out of nowhere, though it might. You need to be actively seeking out your direction, in order to find it. That’s an eager attitude, hehe.
I’m sure you will find your purpose, and be able to direct your passion towards something you really care about, and I hope it happens sooner rather than later, haha. Thanks for the comment, and best of luck to you!
Strongly suggest adding a “google+” button for the blog!